Down the Rabbit Hole
by gnome-goddess-cat
Summary: Based in whydoyouneedtoknow's Dangerverse. What if various peoples had discovered the Heart of Hogwarts before the Pride did?
1. Chapter 1 Armando Dippet

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Dangerverse belongs to Anne Walsh. If you haven't read Anne's stories I suggest you do so. Besides the fact they're very, very, good, this story will make a bit more sense having read them.

**Down the Rabbit Hole**

Armando Dippet hummed cheerfully as he finished some paperwork. It was a fine, springy day and he was in quite a good mood. He put aside his pen, and neatly stacked his papers in front of him. The sound of children laughing came to him through the open windows, and he beamed proudly at the portraits hanging on the wall. _And some of the teachers have been talking among themselves about me! Saying untrue things. That I'm **inept,** and silly. _Mentally he stuck his tongue out at them. _Am not_. He thought to himself. _And I have no doubt any of the students would agree with me._. He glanced up at a knock on the door. "Come in." He called. His transfiguration professor and Deputy-Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, came in. "Hello Headmaster," he began, "I've been meaning to speak to you about young Riddle…"

"Oh, no need!" Armando said cheerfully. "I was somewhat worried myself." He beamed. "But Mr. Riddle is doing quite well! He even seems to be gathering friends from the upper-classmen, and the prefects! It's amazing enough for a muggleborn, let alone a muggleborn in Slytherin. There's no need to worry Albus, but thank you for taking the time to talk to me." He waved his hands animatedly towards the door. "It's a glorious day out! Why don't you take the day off? Visit London, I heard they have a new sweet shop." Armando added, eagerly. Dumbledore paused, but walked out the door.

Armando frowned at the door. "I don't think he believed me." He spoke aloud. "Humph. He thinks I'm a bad Headmaster. He's probably even behind the rumors." He scowled as he began levering his frail body from the chair. With a grunt of effort, the Headmaster rose from his seat, and then tottered over to stand in front of the fireplace. The murmurs of the portraits followed him. He glared at the portraits, and they quieted. _It's the fault of these old Headmasters._ He scowled at the portraits. _They all did great things. Then when a Headmaster comes along that only does **good** things, everybody criticizes him._ He turned around, and his eyes found one portrait in particular. "And it's all your fault!" He pointed at the portrait. "Thank you, Helga Hufflepuff," He shouted at the startled picture. "For starting this ridiculous tradition."

Behind him a hole appeared in the wall beside the fireplace.

Armando scowled at the portrait, then turned back to the fireplace. "Great Googily-Moogily!" He jumped back. _Was that here before?_ His thoughts raced, as he slowly approached the hole. He warily put his hand in the hole then, with a yell, quickly pulled it back. He eyed the hole, waved his hands inside it a bit, then leaned back. "Humph. Seems safe enough." He considered the hole, growing more excited. "Armando Dippet: Discoverer of mysterious Hogwarts passageway." He whispered. "Armando Dippet: explorer extraordinaire." He spoke a bit louder and smiled widely at the hole in the wall. He leaned a bit closer and peered down the hole. There seemed to be a slanted tunnel beyond. _Almost like a slide_. Armando mused. The only light was coming from his office – after a few feet the light faded entirely. There was a small bar hanging in front of the slide. He reached for the bar, but wasn't strong enough to pull himself up with it. Armando looked around his office, ignoring the shocked portraits, for something to stand on. He pulled a sturdy-looking chair over to the entrance then climbed up it into the hole. He pushed off from the entrance, and fell down the slide.

The portraits began exclaiming loudly as his terrified shriek echoed up the tunnel

* * *

Armando screamed loudly as he sped down the slippery slide. It seemed to go on forever. Then it ended. The bottom dropped out from under the slide and he found himself falling. He glimpsed a bright light. _Am I in Heaven?_ Then he hit the ground. It gave beneath him and choked as water rushed into his lungs. His eyes opened and he swam upwards to the light above him. He burst above the surface and flapped his arms about trying to find a hard, and preferably not wet, surface. There was an edge of… something, to his right and he paddled towards it. He grabbed at it and pulled himself up a bit out of the water. He sputtered a bit, clearing the water from his lungs, as he looked around the room.

He was in a giant bathtub.

The Headmaster coughed as water hit the rim of the tub and splashed over the sides. He reached out to grab over the edge, but it was too slippery. _I wish I had a small staircase or something coming out of the pool_. He thought, desperately. His hands slid over the wet tiles. He glanced back, then did a double-take. Small ripples made their way across the pool, heading out from a point to his left. His feet abruptly found purchase as a short staircase rose from the water underneath him. He lost his balance and nearly fell back in the tub, but was able to pitch himself forward to fall heavily on the wet floor instead.

Armando gasped for breath and looked back at the tub. It sat there and did nothing. Armando shivered and pulled himself slowly to his feet. _I don't think I want to be here anymore._ He spotted a door on the far wall and made for it. Armando hesitated, briefly, before opening the door. What if there was something horrible on the other side? He snorted. _Some horrible thing at Hogwarts? Balderdash. It will probably come out behind the tapestry of Wendelin the Weird in the fifth floor corridor or some such place._ He turned the doorknob, fully expecting he'd find himself in some old hallway at Hogwarts.

But all he found was a near empty room. In the middle was a table with twelve chairs around it. There were twelve doors leading from it, including the door he had just came out of. He ignored the center room, and headed for the door next to him.

* * *

Eleven doors and several curses later, Armando sat wearily at a chair in the center room. _Eleven doors and not one leads out._ He stared blankly at the table. _I'm cold._ He thought, morosely. _And wet._ _How long have I been gone?_ He wondered. _I need to get a watch._ He sighed. _It must be near lunch now. I'm hungry. I wonder what the house-elves are making._

He sat straight up at that thought. _House-elves._ House-elves could go anywhere in Hogwarts. Surely they could get him out of here. Besides he was the Headmaster. They had to obey him.

"I need a house-elf now." He spoke to the room.

**::CRACK::**

A small house-elf stood before him. "Yes Headmaster, Sir?" She asked. Armando pulled himself from his chair. "I want to leave these rooms." A pause. "I could do it myself, but I don't want to." He added, trying to save face.

"Yes sir, Headmaster, sir." She said quietly.

**::CRACK::**

Armando found himself back in his office. The house-elf waited at his elbow. "Was there anything else Headmaster wanted?" She asked.

"No, that will be all." He ignored the noise from the house-elf leaving, and turned towards the wall. The hole was gone. He frowned at the wall, then resolved to tell his Deputy Headmaster all about it later. He heard a quiet snigger behind him, and glanced up to see the past Headmaster's smirking at him. "Lose something?" Phinneas Black asked.

Armando resolved to tell his Deputy Head _much _later.


	2. Chapter 2 Millicent Bagnold

Down the Rabbit Hole

Chapter 2

Millicent Bagnold quietly crept down the halls of Hogwarts. She carefully peered around a corner_. Good job Millie…_ _This is what you get for procrastinating on that History of Magic assignment. If you had just **gotten it done** ahead of time you wouldn't be out here, trying to get back to the Dorms after staying late in the library. _She kept her back to the walls and crept slowly down the hall. _And looking so inconspicuous too… _She mocked herself.

She jumped at a scratchy sound coming from behind her. She jumped for the wall, and stared behind her. A suit of armor jumped back, its hand near its mouth, then froze. Millicent stared at the suit of armor, then stepped closer, and waved her hand in front of its face. It stood there, unmoving. _Note to self: The suits of armor really **do **move._ Millicent eyed it one last time, and started off towards her dorms again.

She paused next to a portrait of a bowl of fruit. Then stopped. She glanced around. _Well, I suppose a midnight snack wouldn't do me any harm_. She reached up and ticked the pear in the painting. The door swung out, almost knocking her off her feet. "Sh.." She glanced guiltily down the hall. _Stupid door…_ She grabbed the door and pulled it behind her as she entered the kitchen.

* * *

Millicent sipped her mug of warm pumpkin juice as she watched the fire. _This is nice. I should do this more often. _She smiled at the house elves bustling around the kitchen_. House elves are so cute!_

The house elves froze and turned to the door. The portrait was slowly swinging out.

Millicent stared in horror at the door, then shoved her mug into a house-elf's hands. "Is there another door I can go out of?" She whispered frantically to the house-elf. The house-elf nodded, nervously, ears flapping. It grabbed Millicent by the arm and pulled her over to the fireplace by the wall.

One hand appeared from behind the portrait. Black robes swung from the arm attached.

The house-elf whispered something to the wall beside the fireplace, which Millicent didn't catch. A hole appeared in the wall. "Go, Go!" the house-elf shoved her through the door. "I come back when teacher gone…" The door closed behind her.

* * *

Millicent gazed at the room around her. It was another kitchen, and she seemed to have come out a door next to **it's** fireplace. _Very clean. Almost as if no one ever uses it… _She noticed absently. She cautiously walked over to a cupboard and opened it. _Empty. _She glanced behind her as she closed the door. There was a door across the room from her. She started for the door, then hesitated. _The house-elf said it would come back for me. But if I leave it won't know where I am._ She eyed the door in front of her with interest. It may take forever for whoever it was to leave the kitchen. I'll do a little exploring and be right back. She stepped forward and opened the door. 

In front of her was a large, mostly empty room. It had a huge table in the center of the room, with twelve chairs circling it. That was all it had. She walked forward, and stroked one yellow chair, and she studied the doors around the room. There were seven doors besides the door she had walked through. Each had a red, green, yellow, or blue banner hanging above it. Millicent walked over to a yellow door, and opened it. Inside was small bathroom with a little window. She closed the door_. Well, that was exciting._ She walked to the next door.

* * *

_What a strange place._ Millicent mused as she sat at a yellow chair in the center room. She drummed her fingers on the table, thinking. Besides the kitchen and bathroom, she had found a quidditch pitch (the boys would love it!), a combination library-music room, and four bedrooms each done up in shades of blue, red, green or yellow. I wonder whose rooms they are… And why there are four bedrooms. I didn't think that teachers could marry and have kids… Or at least not have their spouse and kids live here with them. But why else would they have these rooms in the same place? She sighed, and looked over at the door to the kitchen. I'm really tired, and I don't dare fall asleep. What if the house-elf decides not to wake me? Or one of the teachers comes through and finds me. Millicent stood and walked over to the kitchen. Maybe if I walk a little I'll wake up some. She opened the door, and froze. 

The hole by the fire was opening.

She held her breath and started to back up. Then the house-elf popped through. It looked around, and then caught sight of Millicent. "There you is, miss! Mipsy is here to tell you the teacher is gone." She came forward and grabbed Millicent by the arm and pulled her across the kitchen, and over and through the door.

* * *

Millicent carefully walked down the halls of Hogwarts. The little house-elf had given her a new mug of pumpkin juice. Millicent had sipped it quickly, her eyes straying to the still open door every few minutes. "What is that place?" She asked the house-elf. "Mipsy does not know." The house-elf said, almost primly. "Sometimes we is seeing the headmaster using it." It added. 

Millicent slowly nodded. That still doesn't tell me anything. She frowned. What is the headmaster up to? "I think I'll remember this…" she said, eyes narrowed. Then she grinned. "Like it will do me any good." She grinned at the somber house-elf. "When I become Minister of Magic, maybe." She joked. The house-elf looked rather unsure of if it should talk. "Mipsy is thinking you should be leaving soon." It ventured. "It's nearly midnight." It added.

Millicent nodded, and handed her cup back to the house-elf. She glanced back at the door once more, before leaving the kitchen.

She turned around to head towards the Hufflepuff dorms, and ran straight into the caretaker, Ogg. He leered at her.

"Oh blast." Millicent muttered, as Ogg grabbed her and headed off to the Head's office.


	3. Chapter 3 Myrtle Maxwell

Down the Rabbit Hole

Chapter 3

Myrtle Maxwell sobbed as she raced into the Hogwarts hospital wing. She nearly bowled over Madam Luscinia as she raced inside. She sat down with a loud thump on an empty hospital bed, ignoring the partitioned off beds surrounding her. "Madam Luscinia! I feel awful, absolutely horrible!" She sniffled, and wiped her nose on her robe sleeve. Myrtle looked up. She stopped sobbing and looked around in shock. "Madam Luscinia! Aren't you coming? I'm sick! My eyes can't see right and my stomach aches, and I think I'm getting a rash on my face!" She waved her arms in the air, frantically. "I'm sick! I'm very, very sick!" Myrtle scowled at the nurse. "Do something!"

Madam Luscinia sighed. "Again?" She shook her head, wearily. "You were sick last week, remember?"

"Well, I didn't get over it." Myrtle said, stubbornly. "I'm dreadfully sick."

Madam Luscinia walked over to the bed where Myrtle sat. She studied Myrtle. "Myrtle, you cried yourself sick. Again. That is all." She calmly sat on the bed next to Myrtle, and sighed again. "Myrtle, dear. You're only doing this to yourself."

Myrtle drew back, insulted. "I am not! It's all Olive Hornby's fault! She was making fun of my glasses again!"

"But you don't have to let her get under your skin this way. If you cry you're only giving her a foothold."

"Humph." Myrtle sulked. "Am not." She whined.

Madam Luscinia frowned at her. Then stood and spoke. "The hospital wing is for those who are sick, Myrtle, and for those who have been petrified in the recent attacks. You aren't either of those. I'm going to my office, and when I return I expect that you'll be gone." She turned and walked back to her office, firmly closing the door behind her.

Myrtle followed her with wide eyes. _How dare she! She's the **nurse** for Merlin's sake. She can't **abandon** her patients. _She scowled at the door to Madam Luscinia's office. It's probably because of my glasses. _She's exactly like the rest of them. All of them looking down on me. Like Olive Hornby. Arrogant Ravenclaw cow. I bet Madam Luscinia was a Ravenclaw_. She stood and began pacing. "Everybody's against me." She stopped and spoke aloud. "Especially those horrible Ravenclaws." She sent a dark look towards the office door. "Why couldn't there have been three founders? Just Gryffindor, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff?" She started pacing again. "It's all thanks to that Ravenclaw cow." She muttered, whining. "Thank you Rowena Ravenclaw…" She started. Her insult was stopped by the sight of a section of wall next to the fireplace pulling away.

"Merlin…" She said, stunned, as she headed to the door. "What is this?" She stopped just outside the entrance and looked in.

Inside was a library with shelves full of books, and a small piano in the corner.

_Just a stupid library?_ Myrtle thought scornfully. "Wait… This is something Olive Hornby has never found." She grinned. _I'll find her and I'll tell her. She'll be so jealous… _

_But wait… What if someone finds it after me? Think Myrtle… There must have been a password, but what was it?_ Myrtle thought back over her last words. Then she started talking. "It's all thanks to that Ravenclaw cow." She stopped and stared at the door expectantly. _Well, that's not it._ "Thank you Rowena…" The section closed. _Thank you Rowena. Weird password._ Myrtle thought briefly, but passed that thought. It probably wasn't important.

"Thank you Rowena." Myrtle spoke again, testing the password. The door opened in front of her.

Myrtle gave a decidedly un-Hufflepuff like smirk. _Stupid Olive Hornby can't make fun of **me **anymore. I'm going to be famous. They'll probably put me in the new editions of Hogwarts: A History. _Her eyes glazed over. _Maybe I'll even get my very own **statue **in Hogwarts! Olive Hornby will be soooo jealous._

_I'm going to go tell her now. _"Thank you Rowena." Myrtle said in a rush, as she marched out of the hospital wing.

* * *

Myrtle sauntered down the hall, smugly. _Where would I be if I were a mean jerk? _She thought, snickering. A few students gave her strange looks as she wandered the halls. Several students had been petrified and were in the hospital, and they wondered that Myrtle would so casually stroll down the halls.

Myrtle ignored the odd looks she was receiving and continued her search.

_There she is… _

Olive Hornby sat on a low wall in the courtyard. Her posse sat surrounding her, all giggling wildly (and forcefully) at her what she was saying. She shook her hair back, and giggled as her eyes followed a boy walking across the courtyard. Her eyes landed on Myrtle walking towards her.

Myrtle hesitated at the almost predatory light that entered Olive's eyes. "Hello Myrtle." Olive gave a fake smile. "It's so wonderful to see you!" She gushed. She smirked at her friends. "Is that a new look?" She turned her smirk on Myrtle. "New glasses?"

Myrtle hesitated. "No?"

Olive's smirk widened. "Are you sure? I don't remember them being so butterbeer bottle thick." She started laughing and, immediately, her friends all started laughing too.

Myrtle felt her eyes begin tearing up.

"Oh! Is the poor four-eyes going to cry?" Olive cooed. Her friends giggled. Olive snickered. "Honestly." She continued. "You could pick something better to cry about…" She sneaked a wicked smile at a friend, and then looked back at Myrtle. "Like your stringy hair and over-all _ghastly_ looks." A girl in the back of the girl pack snorted. Myrtle felt the first tear begin falling down her face.

"You can't make fun of me anymore Olive." She starts, bravely. "I've found…" Olive interrupts her. "I can't make fun of you? Great Merlin! What have I been doing all this time?" She stood. "Little nobodies like you deserve to be made fun of. You should be thanking me." Olive raised one perfect eyebrow. "Who else would pay attention to you otherwise? It's not like _you_ have any friends." The group behind her actually cheered.

Myrtle burst into tears and ran from her. _Everyone's looking at me!_ She raced up a set of stairs, mentally checking off doors as she went past them. _Too many people here!_ She ran into the second floor girl's bathroom and into a stall and sat and sobbed.

* * *

Myrtle looked up_. There was a boy outside! In a girls toilet! She scowled. How dare he disturb me? _

She reached for the door handle and pushed the door open. "How dare you…"

Big, yellow eyes greeted her.

She forgot about the door in the hospital wing. Forgot about what was behind it. Time narrowed to the bathroom and why she was there, and to those humongous, terrible eyes.

And then time stopped.


	4. Chapter 4 Galvin Gudgeon

Down the Rabbit Hole

A/N: Obviously not mine. That distinction goes to the wonderful J.K. Rowling, and the even more wonderful Anne Walsh.

Galvin Gudgeon frantically searched through his notes. He ignored the mess his ink-stained hands made on the scrolls as he carelessly shoved his notes to the floor.

"Where is it?" He picked up a scroll, opened it, then scowled and threw it back down. "It should be here!"

He shoved a bundle of scrolls off his chair, and sat down with a heavy thump. He leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands. _Damn it_. He leaned back and scowled at the desk in front of him.

_Think about this… You're a Ravenclaw, damn it! Smartest of the Smart! You should be able to figure this out. _

He got up and stalked to the doorway and, about to slam it shut behind him, glanced back at the boys asleep in the dorm. He grimaced, but quietly shut the door behind him. _I have apparently lost my notes_. He kicked at the stairs and began walking down towards the common room. He passed one level, then another, finally arriving at the common room. He sat in a chair in a corner, and glared at the fireplace at the far side of the room.

_I can't write my essay without my notes. And if I don't write my essay… 'Ol Flitwick says he'll kick me off house team._ He scowled. _He doesn't have that kind of authority. He thought bitterly. He's not Head of Ravenclaw yet._

He dropped the scowl, and leant back in the chair, covering his eyes with a hand. _I can't quit quidditch! How will I get picked up by a national team if I don't play? And sure, I've got a few years yet, but still!_

"Stupid professor." He shoved himself out of the chair and walked to the fireplace. "Maybe if I asked for an extension?" He began to pace. "That wouldn't work. Not after all the other essays I've forgotten to do."

"Merlin!" He stopped in front of the fireplace. "I want to play quidditch! I'm excellent! I'm a brilliant seeker! As long as I play, I'm sure to get picked up by a good team." He grinned at the fireplace as he gave in to the quick daydream.

The smile dropped off his face. "No thanks to Flitwick." He kicked the corner of the fireplace. "Why did he have to be in my house? Why not Slytherin? He's sneaky enough to be there!" His eyes drifted to the blue banners hanging from the walls. _Stupid._ He frowned. _Stupid Ravenclaw._ He turned back to the fire and glared at the flames.

He glanced around the common room. _Damn it._ "Thank you Rowena Ravenclaw," he ground out, "For having such standards that stupid Flitwick would…" He turned back to the flames.

He blinked.

There was a hole beside the fireplace.

* * *

Galvin stared at the hole. _Neat!_ He completely forgot about quidditch, essays, and Flitwick.

He leaned over through the hole and looked down it. There appeared to be some sort of slide. He brushed a hand across it. _Eww. Slimy._ Galvin made a face and tried to flick the dirt off his hands. He eyed the slide, dubiously. _Do I really want to go down there?_

A grin. _Hell yeah!_ He carefully pulled himself up onto the ledge before the slide, grimacing at the slimy feel. He put his hands to the side of the tunnel and used it to shove off.

* * *

Galvin held his hands in front of him as he rapidly fell down the slide. _Oh Merlin! This was a bad idea. _He yelped as he fell through what felt like an entire colony of spiderwebs. He screamed as the floor opened up beneath him. Galvin fell through the air and hit a giant bed_. What the…?_ He jumped up, fighting with the quilt, trying to get off the lush bed. He reached the edge and fell to the floor, scrambling backwards away from the bed. When he hit the wall he pulled himself up, wildly brushing at the dirt and cobwebs on his robes.

His gaze circled the room. From the floors to the walls the color blue dominated the room. His eyes stopped on a door across the room. He sprinted for it and opened the door.

All that was on the other side was a big dining room. He ignored the table and chairs in the middle and looked for more doors.

There were seven circling the room, each with a colored banner above them. He headed immediately to the room to his left. _I've got to get out of here! Or I'll never play quidditch again! _The thought galvanized him, and he grabbed for the doorknob of the next door.

* * *

Six doors, two temper tantrums, and one quick break to do the "Happy Quidditch Dance" when he'd found the indoor quidditch pitch, and he was still nowhere. He retreated to the quidditch pitch and sat, leaning against one of the small goal posts. _How do I get myself into these messes?_ He knocked his head back against the goal post. Ow. _There must be some way to get out of this?_ He stared up towards the ceiling of the room. He couldn't see the top of it.

And like that the idea came to him. House-elves.

Galvin nervously cleared his throat. "Could I please get a house-elf here?" He paused, unsure if just asking like that would work.

A small popping sound and a house-elf appeared.

"Can I be serving you, sir?" He asked, timidly.

"Yes! Thank Merlin, yes! I want to leave! I don't want to ever come back! I don't want that stupid hole in the wall in the common room anymore!" Galvin began throwing out requests, relieved that the house-elf had appeared. "I don't want to ever have to think about this **ever** again!" He paused for breath.

The house-elf blinked, then snapped his fingers once.

Galvin blinked and looked around. He was standing in the middle of one of the corridors on the second floor. Bewildered, he looked down the hall. "Huh." Suddenly he wasn't so worried about missing one essay. He headed west, down the hall, toward the dorms. "Maybe I'll go ask Flitwick for that extension"


	5. Chapter 5 Bertha Jorkins

Down the Rabbit Hole - Chapter 5

The Gryffindor Bedroom

A piece of wood popped in the fireplace. The couple on the couch didn't pay any attention -- they had something else on their minds, and couldn't be bothered -- not even with the small, dark head peering around the girl's stairwell. They didn't notice it; if they had, they'd have definitely been upset. The head peeked further around the stairwell, and resolved itself into a smirking girl. She paused at the top of the stairs, and considered the teens at the bottom.

_I can't tell who they are standing here._ She thought, idly. She slowly, carefully began stepping down the stairs. _Lucky these stairs are made of rocks._ She paused, and raised an eyebrow as the couple on the couch grew louder. _Rocks don't squeak when you step down them_. The girl reached the foot of the stairs, and began making her way past comfortable red couches and chairs. _I have to know who they are! This could make such juicy gossip!_ She nudged a chair to the side as she made her way to the fireplace.

A loud screeching sound broke the silence. The couple on the couch tore apart, and looked over to the sound.

She ducked. _I knew it! Sirius Black and Sarah Williams! Everybody will be so shocked! She's still together with Rob Anders._

The boy in front of the fireplace narrowed his eyes, and studied the chair that had seemingly made the noise. Then he turned to face the girl. "You better go back to your dorm." He said, grimly. She glanced towards the stairs, then nodded, and left. Sirius stood, and drew his wand. He stalked over to the guilty chair.

_Merlin, he's coming over here_. The girl hastily jumped to her feet. "Hi Sirius!" she chirped. "I was hungry and thought I'd come downstairs and dig up a bite to eat from the kitchens. Want anything?" She didn't wait for his answer, but headed for the door.

Sirius glared at her. "One of these days you will truly stick your nose where it doesn't belong, Bertha." He shoved past her, and up the stairs.

* * *

Bertha Jorkins unhurriedly walked back towards the stairs, listening for footsteps in case he decided to come back. She had been hexed the previous year, when she'd caught Florence Fingle and Andrew King kissing behind the greenhouses, and she wasn't taking any chances now.

No steps sounded on the stairs though. Bertha danced over to the fireplace, smirking. _This is the story of the year! No one can top this! _She plopped herself down carelessly onto the couch in front of the fireplace, and laughed. _I can't wait to tell!_

She looked around her common room, snickered, and raised her hand to the fireplace in an imaginary toast.

"What's his name again?" She wondered. "Oh yeah," she paused, "thank you Godric Gryffindor for the wonderful Sirius Black." Bertha laughed, then dropped her hand, and stared at the fireplace.

A hole had just appeared to one side of it.

Bertha couldn't move. _There's a hole in the wall of the Gryffindor common room._ It kept running through her head. "There's a hole in the Gryffindor common room." She said aloud, as if that would change it. She hesitantly stood up, and cautiously walked over to the hole. She stuck her head through it, and looked down.

It looked like a slide. She wiped one finger along the slide, and skeptically examined it. "No dust." She said loud. The slide felt slick, with no rough spots to catch on robes. There was a small bar above the slide -- probably to grab onto when pulling oneself up onto the slide.

Bertha paused. _So I want to?_ She turned from the slide, and glanced around the room before her with blank eyes. _This would be such a coup._ She thought_. What a thing to tell!_ She turned back to the slide, determination lining her face. _I'm doing it._ She grabbed hold of the bar, pulled herself through the hole, and pushed off.

* * *

_This is so cool!_ Bertha held her arms out, hands brushing the slick walls moving past her. _I'm moving so fast_! She let out a whoop of delight.

"This is so… AHH!" She screamed as the floor fell out beneath her.

She landed in a sea of red. Bertha sat up, and stared around the room. _Wow…_ _What a __**nice**__ room._ She pulled herself to the edge of the bed, and looked around. _A __**really**__ nice room_. She could see a chest of drawers, and a wardrobe, and desk -- all in a warm red -- standing around the room. _A Gryffindor's room_. Bertha thought in wonder. _What a funny shape though. Bit octagonal._ Her eyes fell on a door in the wall opposite the bed.

She crawled off the bed, walked over to the door, and turned the knob. She studied the room with interest. Like the previous room it was octagonal, with grey stone walls, and a door on each wall. A banner hung above each door; in red, green, yellow, and blue. A table sat in the middle of the room with twelve chairs surrounding it.

Bertha walked over to the first door, under a red banner, and opened it. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. _Just a kitchen. How boring._ She left the room, and closed the door behind her. The next room was another bedroom, identical to the red bedroom, except this was blue. Bertha closed that door behind her, and headed to the next room. She opened the next blue door. Inside was a library. A piano sat in one corner. Bertha grimaced. _Also boring._ She closed the door behind her as she left the room, and headed to the next door. This was a green bedroom. There was a portrait on the wall -- the first she'd seen down here -- but no one was in it. The room beyond that was a quidditch pitch. Bertha paused, considering the possibilities. _Wait 'til the guys on our team hear. We'll take the whole team down here to train. They can get double the practice! Then maybe we'll beat those stinking Slytherins_. She reluctantly left the room, shutting the door behind her, and continued exploring. The next room was, predictably, a yellow bedroom and the room after that was just a bathroom.

Bertha closed the last door behind her, and unhurriedly sat in one of the chairs in the middle of the room, considering the possibilities. _I could rent out the bedrooms by the hour maybe? The quidditch team would be thrilled to have a quidditch pitch available whenever they wanted it, and the fifth and seventh years would kill to have the library to help with studying for their exams… _She smiled at the thought. _I should get back first._

She walked back into the red bedroom and stopped short. A problem had just occurred to her. _How do I get out of here?_

She sat on the edge of the bed and considered her dilemma_. Let's think about this… How did I get down here? I was laughing, and I thanked Gryffindor for Sirius… _

"Thank you Gryffindor for Sirius Black…"

She paused. _Nothing. Think Bertha. What exactly did you say?_ She tried again.

"Thank you Godric Gryffindor for Sirius Black…"

_Nothing._ She swore. "I was on the bed." She said aloud_. Maybe I have to be on the bed? _She crawled onto the center of the bed and repeated the sentence. Once again, nothing happened. Bertha sighed. "Fat lot of good this place will do me if I can't leave." She dropped back onto the bed, and stared at the ceiling, thinking. Then she sat straight up. _The doorway was in the ceiling… So maybe she had to be on the ceiling?_

Bertha stood up in the center of the bed and started jumping, each time repeating the line, "Thank you Godric Gryffindor for Sirius Black." On the third jump the ceiling opened, and she started sliding back up the pipe. She reached the beginning the slide, and carefully pulled herself backwards out of the hole.

She studied the passage. "Thank you Godric Gryffindor…" The passageway closed before she finished the sentence. _Thank Merlin… It was a bit of a mouthful the way it was_.

She smiled, victoriously. "I feel like having some cake to celebrate." She headed to the entrance to the common room, and stepped out still thinking about the secret rooms she had discovered. "Now to decide how much I want to make them pay for it." She spoke aloud.

"I beg your pardon?" The voice sounded out of the darkness. Bertha whirled around the face the sound. Sarah Williams stepped out from behind a suit of armor. "You're planning on making us pay? I could take points for that." She brushed a hand over her prefects badge. "But then it would come out that I was cheating on Rob. I think I'll try something else." She glanced up at Bertha, the wicked gleam in her eyes showing her Slytherin. "OBLIVIATE!" She shouted, bringing her wand up to point at Bertha.

Bertha staggered as the spell hit her and fell back against the wall. Her head hit the wall with a sharp smack, and her sight went dark.

* * *

Bertha moaned as she came to. She brushed a hand up her head, looking for the bump that, if the pain in her head was anything to go by, must be there. _What happened? I was heading downstairs to get a bite to eat from the kitchens and then… _She paused. _And then…_ "Oh Merlin." _**Something**__ must have happened, but what?_ She grimaced_. Do you truly want to know? You must have been obliviated, why else wouldn't you remember what happened? Better you don't know._ She sighed. _I bet it was really good. _


End file.
